Here’s an update.
I just ended another day of studying (or trying to) and I’m just feeling down and low.and the past 15 mins has been spent thinking about God etc.
The past few days of studying has even tough.man, I even had a fever! I can’t even rmb when was the last time I had a fever.desperate times do call for desperate measures.just now i went back to my trusty old journal to insert an entry.and alas, it had been 3 months since I last journaled.gosh.what is wrong with me? I poured my heart out to God in rather incoherent sentences.not sure how He can understand me, but I trust he can.after that short entry, all I was thinking of was just to stop studying and go pray.its funny how things work.as I was washing up, I was still thinking why are all these happening? There has to be a reason.then it dawned upon me.i remember at the beginning of this year, I told God that I want to learn to exercise faith and put my faith into action.there.it couldn’t have been any more clearer than that.isnt this the best opportunity to put my faith into action? Why wait till things are good to exercise faith?do it when things are in shambles!im not saying my life is in shambles now.but it’s no where near flowers and rainbows.
Then comes the question.how do I exercise my faith? This has been a question I’ve had since sometime last year.but I think I know the answer.
The next 2 weeks are still going to be crazy.time waits for no man.i know that in human’s eyes, I can’t finish revising for most of my papers.but God can do much more.im not sure what exactly but I have to trust.what more option do I have? I am rly desperate and crying out.somewhat ashamed that I have to do this because I obviously can’t study to make any good grades for this coming exams.but because God has led me to this, I really need to make that decision to let Him take the wheel.
The past 3 semesters were ones that were filled with tears before the exams due to stress. I even had bout of insomnia that were honestly nightmarish. Im so glad i dont have that problem anymore.but so far.ive had no tears.im not too sure why.for that I am thankful.im sure there are many more things I should be thankful of.i need to do remind myself to be thankful of them.haha.
What a weird post.Till the next one.