It’s been a rough night indeed. The struggle within myself is so strong. I crave for an outlet. But there doesnt seem to be a way out. I feel trapped. I cant see what is in front of me. All i can see is a sea of blur. I dont know what is ahead. Is this really for the better? Right now, i am not convinced.
I just need to be strong this week to finish the race. I am thankful i have the strength and motivation to study. I am also thankful for the people around me who have showed me love and concern. I truly appreciate every one of you. Because to me you are God’s way of taking care of me.
I dont know how long this would take. I want nothing to do with you. I wish u never existed in my life. I wish i had said no from the very start. Right now i just dont want to learn from my hurts. It’s a little too much to bear. Please be gentle with me God. Show me the beauty in all of this.
Ultimately i know i am stronger than all of this. But right now, i am crying out that You will come and rescue me.
Ah. This is really a lot more difficult than i thought. But i have a good God who loves me.