christmas eve

it’s the eve of Christmas. families are celebrating, people are feasting, friends are getting together. but i cant help but feel a tinge of lonliness and sadness. at the start of this Christmas season, i told myself that it doesnt matter if i dont feel happy or loved this Christmas season. because it’s about God. it’s for Him and my service is for Him. i surrendered all the upcoming events to Him. i placed the importance of His people and sharing God’s love above mine.

yet, the one simple thing that i was looking forward to, which is my friends coming to watch me perform for Christmas, failed. none of them are coming. at this point, i dont know what more is there to look forward to anymore. of course, i shouldnt be looking for the assurance in man for the months of hardwork. but i cannot deny that i am disappointed. this is also the reason why i dont believing in having many friends. in fear that they will disappoint you. i know it’s probably just me feeling sorry and making excuses for myself. but i guess, maybe this is what God wants.

i dont really know what to say anymore. i just have to learn to accept and move on. that’s what life is about isnt it?

my heart goes out to all who dont have a family to celebrate Christmas with this year.

there is nothing wrong in feeling sad during Christmas. you dont have to pretend you are having a good time.

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