Having this inner struggle within me. To say or not to say. I always believe that u should almost always say what how feel lest there are regrets. But now i am contemplating. Maybe sometimes these words are merely made up of emotions and not logic? I almost sent out a text, only to find myself hitting the backspace.i hope i made the right decisions. I have come to realize that i am most emotional come night time. Haha. As though i am a different person altogether.
Took my dogs to the vet earlier in the evening. I costed me a huge bomb. So much for saving huh. I think my self-funded summer travel plans might have to be put on hold. Despite the huge amount spent, i love my dogs very much. I will think twice the next time i have the opportunity to get a dog or two because the commitment is almost as big as having a child. But my dogs teach me to live in the moment. They never harbor any hard feelings, neither do they get angry at me. Their excitement for me never subsided over the past year and months. I hope they will stay happy and healthy always.
I hope to find someone who will bring out the best in me. Not highlight my flaws. Tonight, i felt what it was like again to fear disappointing someone even while being myself. The stress was almost unbearable. I want no more of that.
“It is for the better”, He said.
“maybe the answers are not important anymore”, He said.
“your future is in my hands”, He said